“Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”—Unknown (via blua)
The awkward moment when you thought there was no one around at the bus stop so you let out a massive fart only to realise there is someone stood right behind you. I heard it with my earmuffs on, dread to think what it sounded like to her.
I miss having a social life. I haven’t been out for a drink in a really long time.
So down and out at the moment - no money, no social life, no sex life, no love life and loads of work I’m putting off.
“Mandela will never, ever be your minstrel. Over the next few days you will try so, so hard to make him something he was not, and you will fail. You will try to smooth him, to sandblast him, to take away his Malcolm X. You will try to hide his anger from view.”—
Saying things like “happiness is a choice and it’s entirely yours to make” or “you’d be happy if you wanted to be” are really ignorant things to say and probably make people that try their hardest every day to stay positive feel like shit. Cut that shit out.
I cannot stay at uni to write my essay because I have no money and I’m hungry for my tea and I hated the plan I made and the 100 words I wrote anyway and fuck everything. I got distracted and started deleting photos of me and my ex on Facebook. I have 4 days to write 2500 words. I have forgotten how to write and reference things because I haven’t written an essay in over a year and there is a really uncomfortable strong smell of bad breath on this bus and it’s giving me a sickness headache and everyone is talking at once and I don’t know what to do.
I know I keep banging on about my breakup (sorry) but if there’s one thing that annoys me about it it’s that people keep assuming that he dumped me - fair enough that’s the way it usually is because I’m usually too wimpy to do it but this time I brought up the fact that I wasn’t happy, left it to see if he’d make the effort, he didn’t so I brought it up again and we mutually broke up. I consider that having some sort of newfound respect for what I deserve.